Thursday, February 28, 2013

Day 262

My daughter is adorable. I mean super sweet and full of smiles most of the time. Just look at her:

I'm adorable.

But, certain times of day, like every hour or so really, she transforms into something else entirely. 

Picture a great white shark leaping out of the water as it zeros in on its prey- the sea lion. Kind of like this:


But the shark is chubby and pink. And it has fewer teeth. But, the teeth it does have are just as sharp as a regular shark's. And the seal is my unassuming nipple. 

I really can't blame her for her early morning reenactment of National Geographic. I mean, nursing all night long burns a ton of calories. She must be famished. 

Friday, February 15, 2013

A Year of Jude-isms  

I've been writing down and posting on Facebook some of the silliest, cutest and craziest things my little guy says. I probably only manage to write down about a tenth of the crazy things that come out of his mouth. It's pretty entertaining around here! Here's a list of some of my favorites.

Power Socks
1.  My butt said quack!

2.  (Jude mumbling to himself about a book he got for Christmas) 'Baby On the Way' ...I'll smack that baby on the way.

3.  Jude: Mommy, are we safe? 

    Me: Safe from what honey? 

    Jude: Safe from robots?

4.  Poop turns into food.

5.  (Jude to me at bedtime) Sometime I love you and sometimes I don't. That's my answer.

6.  Can we play swords with our noses?

7.  Jude: Mommy!!! Emi's not being nice right now!!

    Me: I'm sorry, there's not much I can do about that. 

    Jude: Well... You can put her in a cage.

8.  Jude: Everybody has different kinds of hair. 

 Me: Yes, that's true. 


Jude: It's really really true.

9.  Jude: Mama, you know what is even better than cereal? 

    Me: What? 

    Jude: A bath

10.  Get out of there, you sweaty muffin!! 
(Talking to himself in the car while trying to pull his waffle out of a ziploc bag)

11.  Jude: Mommy, am I going to be alive at Christmas? 

      Me: Of course you'll be alive! Why would you say that!?

      Jude: I don't know, I just really like to be alive.

12.  (Lifting up the dog's tail) Eva!! Hold still. I'm just looking at your parts!

13.  Mommy I'm difficult. 

      Me: Why?

      Jude: Because I'm so tired.

14.  Mommy...I ranned out of breath. And now I don't have any more breath to breathe.

15.  Jude: Mommies and Daddies can cry too. Everybody can cry. But not robots.

16.  We eat vegetables, not humans. And not babies.

17.  Jude: (Kicking the big birth ball) This is kinda tricky for you guys!

      Me: No, it's kind of tricky for you.

      Jude: No, It's tricky for you. Cuz I'm excellent.

18.  Jude: Mama, where was I born?

      Me: The birth center

      Jude: Why?

      Me: Because that's where Daddy and I went when you were ready to be born. 

      Jude: Oh... well, I should have been borned at home.

19.  Mama! I saw a sign- Human Crossing!

20.  Jude: What do skunks do? Do them make noise?


Me: No, I don't think so. 

      Jude: They just stink around?

21.  (Singing) Mr. Daddy Schneider.... Mr. Daddy Schneider!!

22.  Jude: You scared me when you slammed the door. 

      Me: I'm sorry. 

      Jude: That's ok... I still love you.

23.  Jude: What do you say to start elephants?

      Me: Huh?

      Jude: Do you say "Gideyup"?

24.  I want to take the Cinnamon Challenge!!!

25.  Jude: I see a parking garage. 

      Me: Yes, that is a parking garage. 

      Jude: I know what things are.

26.  Jude: I want to watch Sponge Bob!!

      Gregory: No. 

      Jude: I'm going to steal your body then! All of it.

27.  Jude: Mommy, you'll never die right?

      Me: Everybody dies. 


Jude: But not you, right?

28. Hey mommy! Look them are building a scrape scraper! It's super tall! And look! I see an alligator! (Elevator)

29. Stop making me drop my things! You are making me crosser and crosser!

30.  Me: (reading book title) What Mommies Do Best.... What do you think mommies do best?


Jude: Take care of Edens!

31.  Oh yeah? Well I'm licking my hands so they get clean. That's what children do.

32.  Mommy, I'm going to play a long game. Then you and Eden can take a nap. That's my plan for you.

33.  Mommy! Look! There is snow on the mountain. I love snow. See all that white stuff? That's snow. 

34.  Hi Eva (our dog)... you are my beauty! But sometimes you smell my butt.

35.  (Emi pretending to be dead in a giant cardboard box shaped kind of like a coffin)


      Jude: (pushing the box) I gotta take this deadness to the cruncher.

I'm not listening!!

What are some of the funny things your kids have said lately?